Let’s face it, Irish Jokes are mostly bad and perpetuate a stereotypical image of the Irish that quite frankly is mostly not true, so at the risk of being non pc and culturally or otherwise inappropriate, here are some of the best…and worse, funny…and not so funny Irish jokes.
C’mon, you have to admit, a few of these are crackers
Q: What do you call an Irishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
A: A Referee.
Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He’s Dublin over with laughter!!
Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Cos they’re always a little short
Q: What is Irish diplomacy?
A: It’s the ability to tell a man to go to hell. So that he will look forward to making the trip.
Q: Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral?
A: There’s one less drunk.
Q: What do you call a big Irish spider?
A: A Paddy long legs.
Q: What’s the difference between Ireland and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Q: How do you blind an Irish man?
A: You put a bottle of scotch in front of him.
Q: What do you call an Irish fella trying to break up a fight?
A: Liam Malone
Q: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
Q: What do you call two gay Irish men?
A: Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.
The above courtesy of:
1. Six Irish men were playing poker when one of them played a bad hand and died. The rest drew straws to see who would tell his wife. One man draws the shortest straw and goes to his friend’s house to tell the wife.
The man says to her, “Your husband lost some money in the poker game and is afraid to come home.”
The wife says, “Tell him to drop dead!” The man responds, “I’ll go tell him.”
2. What’s the difference between God and Bono? God doesn’t wander around Dublin thinking he’s Bono.
3. There are only three kinds of men who don’t understand women: young men, old men, and middled aged men. (Irish saying)
4. Never iron a four leaf clover. You don’t want to press your luck.
5. The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven’t got the joke yet.
6. Try to say “Irish wristwatch”.
The above courtesy of