There are some funny Irish quotes sayings out there, and here is a small selection for your pleasure.
1. The Irish way – Now don’t be talking about yourself while you’re here. We’ll surely be doing that after you leave.
2. Irish Blessing – As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
3. Old Irish Curse – May those that love us love us, and those that don’t love us, may God turn their hearts. If He can’t turn their hearts, may He turn their ankles, so we’ll know them by their limping!
4. Irish Blessing – May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.
5. Irish Quote – The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another.
6. Irish Quote – God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish.
7. Irish Quote – Shut your mouth and eat your dinner.
8. Irish Quote – You know it’s summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.
(comedian- Hal Roach)
9. Irish Quote – Those who drink to forget, please pay in advance
10. Irish Quote – It’s my rule never to lose me temper till it would be detrimental to keep it.
11. Irish Quote – Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse.
12. Irish Quote – The world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed
13. Irish Quote – I have my faults, but changing my tune is not one of them.
(playwright Samuel Beckett)
14. Irish Quote – What’s the use of being Irish if the world doesn’t break your heart ?
15. Irish Quote – He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.
(author- Johnathon Swift)
16. Irish Quote – There’s no reason to bring religion into it. I think we ought to have as great a regard for religion as we can, so as to keep it out of as many things as possible.
17. Irish Quote – In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol – it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.
18. Irish Toast – Here’s to our wives and girlfriends: May they never meet!
19. Irish Quote – I once read about the evils of drink, so I gave up reading.
20. Irish Quote – Drinking gives one a very clear sense of who’s to blame for everything.
21. Irish Quote – The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad. For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad.
(writer G K Chesterton)
22. Irish Quote – The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven’t seen the joke yet.
23. Irish Quote – The Irish don’t know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. (Sidney Littlewood)
24. Irish Quote – When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. (James Goldsmith)
25.Irish Quote – Nodding the head does not row the boat.
26. Irish Quote – A man in love is incomplete until he has married, then he is finished.
27. Irish Quote – An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth.
28. Irish Quote – A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. (Oliver Herford)
29. Irish Quote – The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven’t seen the joke yet.
30. Irish Quote – Don’t talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. (Colin Farrell)
31. Irish Quote – Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me.
32. Winston Churchill Quote – We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. (Winston Churchill British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)
33. Irish Quote – If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t there more happy teenagers? (Unknown)
34. Irish Quote – The Irish ignore anything they can’t drink or punch. (James Boswell)
35. Irish Quote – The Irish are a very fair people, they never speak well of one another.
36. Irish Quote – I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. (Jerome K Jerome)
37. Irish Quote – My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
38. Irish Quote – Sometimes I think I am a genius. Then I realize I’ve already seen this episode of Jeopardy.
39. Irish Quote – Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
40. Irish Quote – If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.
41. Irish Proverb – You never miss the water till the well has run dry.
42. Irish Quote – A turkey never voted for an early Christmas.
43. Irish Quote – I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you’re important and nice, but you take second place all the same. (Iris Murdoch – British Novelist and Philosopher, 1919-1999)
44. Irish Toast – Everyone is wise until he speaks.
45. Irish Blessing – Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part.
46. Irish Quote -Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.
47. Johnny Rotten Quote – It’s a loser’s emblem (swastika), because the Nazis lost the war. It’s ridiculous to suggest we are involved with fascists. All my best friends are black, gay, Irish or criminals. (Johnny Rotten – British Musician)
48. Irish Quote – The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried.
49. Irish Quote – Every St. Patrick’s Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
50. Irish Quote – The trouble with me is that I am a vindictive old shanty-Irish bitch. (Eleanor Medill Patterson)
51. Irish Quote – I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
52. Irish Blessing – Wherever you go and whatever you do, May the luck of the Irish be there with you.
53. Irish Quote – God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.
54. Irish Quote – Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
55. Irish Quote – There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened. (Unknown)
56. Irish Quote -I can resist everything except temptation. (Oscar Wilde – Irish Playwright)
57. Irish Curse – May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can’t find you with a telescope. (Unknown)
58. Irish Quote – The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. (Unknown)
59. Irish Quote – St. Patrick… one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish. (Charles M. Madigan)
60. Irish Toast – As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction!
61. Irish Quote – Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. (Unknown)
62. Irish Quote – Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. Friend or Money (Unknown)
63. Irish Quote – Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. (George Bernard Shaw)
64. Irish Quote – Praise the ripe field not the green corn.
65. Irish Quote – In heaven there is no beer…
That’s why we drink ours here.
66. Irish Blessing – May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door.
67. Irish Quote – Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. (William Butler Yeats – Irish prose Writer, Dramatist and Poet. Nobel Prize for Literature in 1923. 1865-1939)
68. Irish Quote – He is bad that will not take advice, but he is a thousand times worse that takes every advice.
69. US Quote – If this humour be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. (William Howard Taft – American 27th US President 1909-13).
70. Irish Quote – A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life.
71. Irish Quote – I see your face when I am dreaming. That’s why I always wake up screaming. (A. A. Attanasio)
72. Irish Saying – Better be quarelling than lonesome.
73. Irish Quote – The Irish – Be they kings, or poets, or farmers, They’re a people of great worth, They keep company with the angels, And bring a bit of heaven here to earth.
74. Irish Saying – Leprechauns, castles, good luck and laughter.Lullabies, dreams and love ever after. Poems and songs with pipes and drums. A thousand welcomes when anyone comes… That’s the Irish for you.
75. Irish Quote – When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious.”
76. Irish Quote – Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. (Henny Youngman)
77. Irish Quote – What’s dumber, expecting educators to be entertaining, or expecting entertainment to be educational? (Unknown)
78. Irish Quote – I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t. (Patrick Murray)
79. US Quote – Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. (Ted Whitehead)
80. English Quote – The English are not happy unless they are miserable, the Irish are not at peace unless they are at war, and the Scots are not at home unless they are abroad. (George Orwell – English Novelist and Essayist, 1903-1950)
81. Irish Quote – If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilised.
82. Irish Quote – I’m an Irish Catholic and I have a long iceberg of guilt. (Edna O’Brien – Irish Writer, b.1932)
83. Irish Quote – Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. (Unknown)
84. Irish Quote – I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you. (Unknown)
85. US Quote – Sheep are not considered the most intelligent animals but British scientist say humans may have underestimated the woolly creatures. In fact, the British scientific community is even suggesting that the animals might even be ‘Irish-smart’ (Jon Stewart)
86. Quote – Irish Alzheimer’s: you forget everything except the grudges
87. Irish Quote – Wealthy people miss one of life’s greatest thrills . . . Making the last car payment. (Unknown)
88. Irish Quote – A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.
89. Irish Quote – I’m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect! (Unknown)
90. Irish Quote – A quarrel is like buttermilk: once it’s out of the churn, the more you shake it, the more sour it grows.